Carleen on The Journey to Finding Inner Peace
What does inner peace mean to you?
Inner peace to me is a feeling. It's a sense of stillness and calm. A knowing that no matter what your life looks like in that season or moment, everything is and will be okay. Of course, it’s a journey, one that requires a lot of effort and patience. But like anything else, the more you work at doing things that fulfill you and nurture your soul, the more you can find those moments of peace in your day to day life.
Can you share a specific moment or experience that helped you understand the importance of inner peace?
I feel like I’ve always noticed certain activities or places that brought me a sense of peace, but I didn’t fully lean into it until I started heavily practicing gratitude in the pandemic. And when I say heavily practicing, I mean making a conscious effort to appreciate everything in my life, even the small things we often take for granted. I was also spending a lot of time in nature which I’ve always felt spiritually connected to, but I noticed how much more grounded and aware I became the more time I spent there. I think that period was the first time I consistently felt inner peace and saw the positive impact it had not only on my life but on who I was becoming as a person.
What are some practices that help you reconnect with a sense of calm when life feels overwhelming?
Spending time with God, being in nature, sitting by the water, journaling, reading a book, being with family, morning walks, listening to music, therapy, watching the sunrise/sunset.
How do you handle negative thoughts or self-criticism that might disrupt your peace?
I’ve gotten a lot better at redirecting negative thoughts, rather than dwelling on them. Sometimes, it’s as simple as telling myself in that moment, "Carleen, don’t even go there. You can’t afford to let this throw you off track." It may sound silly, but talking yourself through a negative thought or situation can be surprisingly effective. You’d be amazed at how you can redirect your focus or talk yourself out of (or into) things.
What does a “peaceful day” look like for you?
Honestly, just being anywhere in nature or by the ocean. I don’t even have to be doing a specific activity, just sitting and relaxing. & maybe listening to some lo-fi music.
How do you handle moments when peace feels out of reach? What do you do to bring yourself back to center?
Usually when I’m in a season where peace feels out of reach, it’s because I haven’t been consistently doing the things that help me find and maintain that peace. So I start by asking myself, "What have I not been doing" which is usually easy for me to identify, and then it's a matter of gradually bringing those things back into my life.
If peace feels out of reach in a specific situation, I've found that taking a few minutes to close my eyes and focus solely on my breathing helps bring me back to center. Then i'm able to approach the situation with a clearer, more level-headed perspective.
What role does self-compassion play in finding inner peace?
It plays a hugeee part. I used to have the worst inner critic, almost like a bully. And if I’m being honest, I still struggle with it sometimes, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I’ve learned to give myself grace for where I am, who I am, and the mistakes I’ve made along the way. Accepting all of me, including the good & the bad, has allowed me to form a healthier relationship with myself, which in turn allows me to speak to myself in a more positive and caring way.
I also had to learn to separate my inner critic from who I really am, almost like it's a separate person. This makes it a little easier to dismiss or block it out because I'm able to recognize that those thoughts aren’t facts and don’t reflect the real me.
How do you balance the pursuit of peace with the reality of daily life and its responsibilities?
I’m not going to lie, some days are much easier than others. It’s a constant work in progress, like a muscle that needs to be strengthened and some days you simply just don’t have the energy to put up a fight. Balance is something I’m still navigating and learning to implement more consistently in my life.
I think it can be easy to say "I know the things that bring me peace, so as long as I do those, I’ll always be good," but the reality is, life is chaotic and it literally comes in waves. So it’s not always easy to stay on top of those positive habits. Something my therapist suggested was to start scheduling them into my daily to-do list, like any other task. Whether it’s ‘go outside for a walk,’ ‘sit in nature for 10 minutes,’ or ‘do breathwork,’ consciously making time for these things and not neglecting them when life gets busy, has really helped me.
What role do forgiveness and letting go play in your journey toward inner peace?
I didn’t really understand the importance and impact forgiveness could have on you until I learned that forgiveness is for you, not necessarily for the other person. When you hold resentment and anger in your heart for someone else, all that does is eat away at you and disturb your peace. You're more likely to get triggered by small things they do, or even the sight or thought of them.
Learning to forgive is a part of the process. Once I understood that and put in the effort to truly practice it, I felt so much lighter. As for letting go, I’m naturally someone who likes to control things, but over the past few years, I’ve really learned the importance of just leaving it up to God. I can’t walk around saying “I have a lot of faith” yet doubt his ability to make things happen in my life. So while some seasons are easier than others, I’m honestly just tired of trying to do everything myself. Giving it to God allows me to move through life knowing that, no matter what, he’s got me, and I’ll be okay.
If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?
Girl strap in because you're in for a longgggg ride! No but seriously, I’d tell her to step out of your comfort zone because that’s where your power lies. I’d also tell her lean into what God has for you sooner than later. It’ll save you a lot of heartache, challenges, and seasons of feeling lost. Lastly, I’d remind her to keep the faith no matter what. For most of the journey, it won’t look like what you expected, but everything is either redirecting or shaping you to get to exactly where you're meant to be.
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How do you manage the external influences in your life—like media, relationships, and environments—to protect your inner peace?
I’m really big on filtering what I let into my mind and spirit. I’ve had to become really protective of that because of some negative experiences in the past when I was more open to everything mentally and spiritually. Of course I can’t control all external sources or everything that pops up in my day to day, but as best as I can, I try to be selective about what I listen to, what I watch, the people I associate with, and sometimes even the conversations I choose to engage in. All of this plays a part in protecting my peace and becoming the best version of myself.
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What advice would you give to someone struggling to find inner peace in their own life?
Know that it’s a JOURNEY, not a destination. Give yourself grace along the way because some days will be harder than others. Between life's unexpected challenges, daily responsibilities and just everyday adulting, you have to find time to nurture and take care of yourself, because no one else will. Life isn’t always easy, but the good news is that peace is always available ♡ It’s about finding those small moments of stillness and calm that make the journey feel a little lighter.
