Yasmine on The Art of Surrender
Name: Yasmine
What does the word “surrender” mean to you?
To me “surrender” is letting the version of reality that exists in my head take the back seat. It doesn’t mean to give up or stop trying.
How do you differentiate between surrendering and giving up?
Giving up, to me, means losing hope in the outcome to the point where you stop working toward it. In my experience, surrender has been about recognizing that things aren’t unfolding as I planned, grieving that realization, and allowing myself to rest in the uncertainty, both physically and emotionally. It’s about trusting God through it all while still putting in small, hopeful efforts along the way. Some phrases that come to mind are “If it’s meant to be, it will be” and “I can’t come and kill myself."
Has letting go always come naturally to you, or was there a specific moment that made you realize the power of surrender?
When I was younger, letting go was extremely hard for me. I remember when I was 6 my parents took me out to eat and told me I was gonna have a sister and I was not happy lol. I felt as though I was losing my parents. I remember numerous times when I felt like I was losing people I cared about either because of distance, death, tension, marriage, divorce etc. all of those times I would take it personally, feel second best or like nothing at all. I’m not very confrontational but my way of trying to hold on during those times when I wasn’t able to talk was to cry & isolate.
A large part of my relationship with my parents (particularly my mom) has been a huge act of surrender. Growing up I held a lot of resentment to the point of wanting to run away or do harm.
A moment that stands out clearly in my memory is sitting in church one day and coming across something that said a child who harbors resentment towards a parent will end up a resentful adult. If you asked me now where that passage is in the Bible, I couldn't tell you. It might not even exist. I might have just been spoken to. But one thing was certain: I didn’t want to grow up bitter.
I think at that moment I realized I can’t continue to be angry. I have to radically accept the situation I’m in, have empathy, know that God is in control, and do what I can to improve my future.
Are there any misconceptions you’ve encountered about what it means to surrender?
I believe the biggest misconception about surrendering is that it means you stop putting in effort, far from it! You continue working toward your goals, but surrendering is really a mindset. It’s about choosing not to dwell in disappointment, anger, or fear. Instead, you shift those emotions aside and align yourself with peace, patience, and diligence.
What role does trust, whether in yourself, a higher power, or the process, play when practicing surrender?
I only trust myself to a specific point. Once I start doubting myself it’s really a snowball effect from there. I’m a Christian so I put my faith/ trust in God through Christ. It’s gotten me this far.
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Is there a small habit or routine that reminds
you to release control throughout the day?
To release frustrations I sigh a lot. I guess it’s a version of breath work. I also decompress by walking outside when it’s nice. Talking to my loved ones. I love watching tv and movies. Scrolling on TikTok. Eating food. All the things that make me happy.
What helps you stay open to possibilities
when things don’t go as planned?
When things don’t go as planned and I’m really frustrated, I tend to vent to trusted friends and family. Although being vulnerable isn’t something I naturally enjoy, I’m usually met with optimism and empathy. Their encouragement helps me decompress and be more open to other possible outcomes.
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Have you ever looked back on a situation and wished you had surrendered sooner?
I think I could have avoided some romantic situationships a bit sooner if I surrendered to what God was telling me but they ended up being lessons learned.
What advice would you give to someone struggling with this?
I would say don’t let laziness lead you, surrender to that better version of yourself & start doing what needs to be done (I’m taking my own advice here). Also, when things aren’t going your way, know that you were never in control in the first place. Let life unfold and lean on God for guidance.
If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?
I would tell Little Yaz to continue getting to know herself. Read, write, draw, express, and explore.
